It is a beautiful day in Oceanside and I am grateful that I live here.  Horace is sleeping and I am watching Cops.  What a life, huh?
I have opened an account on GoFundMe.  It is a website for people to beg for money.  I really had to think about doing it but thought maybe it is a lesson in humility to let others know that my financial life is non-existent right now.  I keep telling myself that there is a perfect job waiting for me and this is a passing phase but the odds are that the job I can do is being filled by a much younger person.
It never occured to me that I would get old.  What young person really can fathom what getting old means?  It is a never ending cycle of increasing vulnerability.  My lungs are bad, my back is bad, my hair is thinning, and I am fat.  Hmmmm.  That sounds pretty negative.  I guess what I am thinking is that I can not believe I would actually live this long.  I think that there are plenty of good years left to be of service to my fellows, regardless of my physical status.  My mind seems to be working pretty well.  Even though it takes me much longer than my younger colleagues to move around, I seem to be able to keep up with most of them mentally.  That is something to be grateful for.  I am glad my mind is flexible enough to hear new ideas and opinions, sift through them, and accept that there are new ways to navigate through life.  I also know that some of the ideas that I learned along the way have value and were learned through my personal experiences.
Life moves along and it moves in a unfathomable fashion sometimes.  I hope that I will not be evicted and that whatever is supposed to happen I will be able to accept it without too much complaint.
My friends tell me God has a plan.  I accept that and know deep within me that it is true.  However, sometimes I become frustrated because I do not know what the plan is. So, I put up the website to get some help and hope that those that have helped know how much I appreciate them.  I also have applied for many jobs and so far, none of them have panned out.  I will be starting a part time job on campus in August and going to school full time.  I will be working with children and that will be fun.  MiraCosta has a great day care program so I am sure I will be learning new things everyday.
I hope that I will be in better circumstances one day and that I will be able to pass along what has been given to me. I do not consider that the other circumstances in my life are bad.  I have wonderful children, many friends, and a loving family.  The blessings that are in my life are boundless.
So I am running headlong into the breach and life is never boring.
Love to you all.